Whoever wants to have the "good listening" skill has to do several exercises to get to this stage, and the beginning is by practicing silence.
Some people are mistaken when they think that hearing is the same as listening. People are born, and most of them have the sense of hearing, but few of them have the ability to listen, let alone be good. This is another skill. Whoever possesses it possesses a lot of love and sympathy, and attracts others to him without the slightest cost from him.
Language differentiates between 4 stages of the most important sense in human interaction: hearing, listening, listening and listening. As for “hearing” it is what was intentionally or unintentionally, it is all the sounds that pass over the ear without discrimination, and as for “hearing” it is what is meant by it, and what the listener pays attention to with the intention of being attentive to what is said or issued by another party, then it comes.” Listening, which is what is interacted with with the heart and feelings. As for the higher stage, it is “listening,” which is to leave everything that occupies and focus on what is being said wholeheartedly.
The Arabic language summarized all that the recipient has to do to be a "good listener" in one word: to be "listening", but not everyone can easily reach that stage.
In an article on Psychology Today , psychotherapist Justin Kumpf considered that whoever wants to possess this skill must do several exercises in order to be a good listener, the first of which is silence.
The importance of silence
It is certainly not the indifferent silence that is intended, but the silence that the recipient feels is a silence that carries understanding and provides support to continue speaking.
How many times have you wanted to talk about your feelings or a situation you went through, and if the person in front of you interrupts you with his own attitudes, or with feelings he went through previously that outweigh your feelings, or with a complaint that is more difficult than what you are going through, he cuts off your thoughts, and your desire to continue.
Some may think that silence is embarrassing, or not enough to build confidence to make the speaker continue his speech and express his feelings and thoughts, but the American therapist confirms that sometimes silence is all that the speaker wants from the listener, he wants to take the space that allows him to throw everything that waves inside him, Without anyone interrupting him, and without the words of the other party being a sword wielding his tongue.
Stay away from distractions
The moment the listener turns off his mobile phone and throws it aside to reassure you that nothing will distract him from you, is the moment when you want to throw yourself, your feelings, your thoughts and your words into his arms, as time stops for you at this moment. Turning off the phone, closing the door, or removing the TV socket are all actions that suggest to the speaker the state of interest from the other party, so you start unloading your charge without fearing a direct or indirect interruption.
In an article for the New York Times , Adam Bryant writes that short sentences between two ends of a conversation make conversation smoother and more comfortable for the person speaking.
Use body language
There are some physical movements that differ in their message according to who they are directed to. Bryant says that body movements in meetings about creative ideas, for example, are different from those related to discussing issues and ideas, and they are different from body movements in meetings about private feelings and thoughts.
The degree of proximity to the speaker increases the intimacy of the hearing, but in all cases, some issues related to the type of relationship must be taken into account, whether it is work, friendship, love, or with a psychiatrist.
Think of the best listener you know
Memories are always there to relive decisive moments. Sure, you've had a moment when you find yourself listening, remember it when you listen to one, maybe his memory saturates you, and he uses him with you again.
Source : websites
